My Immortal: Dank Edition
by theautumnalequinox
Summary: The classic fanfic, "My Immortal", with a nice memey twist. Featuring Pepe the frog, Shrek, and many other popular internet memes.
1. Actual Author's Note

This is based off of the horrendously, yet hilariously written Harry Potter fanfic, "My Immortal" by Tara Gilesbie. I have pretty much taken the entire fanfic down to the original author's notes (including its awful spelling and grammar) and twisted it around.

Instead of following the story of the Mary Sue character, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, the main protagonist is the popular meme Pepe the frog. All the other characters are also cleverly replaced by other popular memes.

 **Spoiler Alert:** _Shrepe_

So give it a read. And if you have spent your time reading and dying over how awfully hilarious "My Immortal" is - you're in for a treat.

P.S. Reading it out load with some friends makes it ten times better!


	2. Chapter 1 & 2

Chapter 1.

AN: Special danks (get it, coz I liek dank memes) 2 my gf (yes in that way gET WITH THE TIMEZ HOMOPHONES!1!) jenny, iambeeyoncealways 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok!

Hi my name is Pepe Rare Meme Overlord and I have a soft bald green head (nothin 2 due with my name). I have fat juicey red lips like my home girl Kylie Jenner. I'm not related to the Kardasheons but I wish I was because their major fucking hotties. I'm a frog but I do pass for a normal humen. I have green skin. I'm also a wizard, and I go to a magical school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm meme trash (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly dank meme clothes from Amazon and hot topic that most you non memers wouldn't understand. But today I was just wear a blue t-shirt and khaki pants. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was happy about. A lot of scrubs stared at me. I put my second out of four webbed fingers at them.

"Hey Pepe!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Shrek!

"What's up Shrek?" I asked

"Nothing." he said shyly in his deep ogre voice

But then I heard my friends call me and I had to hop away.

AN: IS it good? PLS tell me danks!

Chapter 2.

AN: Danks 2 iambeeyoncealways 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW skrubs stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I slid off my lilly pad and ate a fly that kept buzzing around my room. My bed was basically just a Lilly pad shaped 2 remind me of home. I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday bc no one would notice anyways.

My friend, Shia La Beouf (AN: Jenny dis is male u!) woke up and grinned at me. He flipped his brown hair that was in a ponytail and stoked his beard. We got ready.

"OMFG I saw you talking to Shrek yesterday!" he said excitedly

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing

"Do you like Shrek?" he asked as we went out the Hufflepuff common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I frogging don't!" I croaked

"Just DO IT!" he exclaimed. Just then, Shrek walked up to me.

"Hi." He said

"Hi." I replied flirtily

"Guess what." he said

"What?" I asked him

"Well, Rick Astley is having a concert in Frogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Frogging. God!" I screamed I love Rick Astley. He's my favorite person ever besides the Kardashins.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked

I croaked.


	3. Chapter 3 & 4

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY SCRUBZ OK! ogrewize danks 2 da ppl 4 da good reviews! DANKS AGEN JENNY! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Rick Astley

On the night of the concert I put on my favorite blue shirt. Then I put on my favorite khaki pants that reminded me of Jake from Statefarm. I put lotion on my bald head making it look shiny. I felt a lil depressed then, so I slit on of my webs. I read a depressing fanfic while I waited for it to stop bleeding and listened to Rick. I painted my nails Galaxy. I didn't put on foundation because nothing matched my skin tone. I ate some flies so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Shrek was waiting for me there in front of his flying Impala. He was wearing his simple plan ogre style outfit and also Galaxy nail polish! (AN: a lot of kewl boiz wer it ok!)

"Hi Shrek!" I said in a depressed voice

"Hi Pepe." he said back. We walked right into his black impala (the license plate said 'my swamp') and flew to the place with the concert and the Rick. On the way we sat in silence because we both only liked Rick Astley and we didn't want to play his music right b4 the concert bc that would be stupid. We both smoked cigarettes, onions, and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car (especially me) We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and hopped up and down as we listened to Rick Astley.

"Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry  
Never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you" sang Rick (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song)

"Rick is so frogging hot." I said to Shrek, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Shrek looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Shrek sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Rick and he's old anyways. I frogging hate it." I said disgustedly. Gosh I would never date a creepy old dude who would never want to give me up!

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Shrek. After the concert we drank some beer and were disgusted by the fact that someone even dared to ask what song Rick just sang. And then some skrub replied "Darude Sandstorm" is that even a song? Shrek and I crawled back into the impala, it Shrek didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest's swamp!

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok pepe's name is PEPE nut meme trash OK! SHREK IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 his major movi ok!

"SHREK!" I shouted. "What the frog do you think you are doing?"

Shrek didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the frogging hell?" I croaked angrily.

"Pepe?" he asked

"What?" I snapped.

Shrek leaned in extra-close and I looked into his big ogre eyes which revealed so much depressing sorrow and ogreness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then... suddenly just as I Shrek kissed me passionately. Shrek climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took off my blue shirt and took off his ogrely clothes. I even took off my khakis. Then he put his ogre sized thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Ogre!" I screamed. I was beginning to get a frogasm (it's a orgasm but 4 frogs!1) we started to kiss everywhere and my green body became all warm. And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS!"

It was...Headmaster Boromir!


End file.
